The more stable you are, the more flexible you become. It is the reward for improving yourself. You will go from a cracked eggshell to having a whole flexible exterior shell! We can all count on change, and we do have some control in how our days go.


Every morning when we wake up, we are given a new day—a fresh start. I am grateful for the freedom that retirement affords me. What is it that you can be grateful for first thing in the morning? If you have woken up on the wrong side of the bed, explore why. Anger is not optimum mind-set, but flexibility is. Shifting your thinking can be the act you need to gain a positive outlook. It may require some effort to put you in a good mood, so give yourself time alone to recharge. No one benefits from a negative nellie.


There are a number of ways to lift your spirits:

  1. Soothing music.
  2. YouTube videos of animals or happy children.
  3. Meditation MP3s of subliminal affirmation.
  4. Playing video games during your alone-time (set a time limit on this one).
  5. Reading a book you’re drawn to.
  6. Watching comedy on TV.
  7. Finding a new hobby.
  8. Playing with your children or grandchildren.
  9. Walking and playing with your pets.


Being conscious of maintaining a flexible mind-set throughout the day allows you to draw out positive situations. Giving or receiving from others is meant to be a positive experience, so when I encounter someone who is grumpy and argumentative, I listen instead and focus on not returning the rage. Try to think of a similar situation for yourself. When a person was angry at you, did you bite back and turn it into an unpleasant outcome instead of fixing it? Forgive and resolve to disengage better the next time this happens. Situations like this can happen especially with family members when buttons can easily be pushed. Be flexible. Learn by putting more thought into how you can improve during the next encounter. With family, you can improve the relationship. You are not likely to change the dynamics without significant effort and flexibility on your part. Remember, when you are at peace, what another says cannot disturb your peace. Both parties will benefit.

An abusive, toxic relationship is what I have just described. If it is not possible to reason and move forward to a healthy one, it becomes a painful decision to break this bond. Leave the blaming and threatening game out. Blame is an outdated mode of argument. Threats can be presented as a consequence of undesired behavior being stubbornly held onto.


Instead, remember the initials KISS: keep it simple, sweetheart. I’ve gone through those experiences in my past; I now focus on flexibility when a situation turns into something untenable for me and focus on effusing love in all my communications. Whoever is not comfortable with the amount of affection I give can tone theirs down and I will respond accordingly. These are just subtle distinctions. All of us are allowed to be who we are. There are times when I ignore the messages of coolness or rejection, and I choose not to spend as much time (or none at all) with that person. That requires flexibility. Let no person get you down. You can choose where you fit and choose to feel good about your decision.


Rob, my husband, and I have been married now for forty-eight years. He is as stable as a rock where I have put him and our children on a roller-coaster ride for decades. Rob and our three children learned how to be flexible out of necessity to continue the relationship with me. If this is your current situation too, thank those who live with your psychosis or depression. It’s also important to remind yourself you too have good qualities. Imperfection and intolerance lead to poor flexibility. We can all move toward greater tolerance and perfection.


My spirituality, faith, and obedience for God direct me daily. I pair it with a flexible mind-set. In fact, I have a prophet and the Bible as my guides. Colette Baron-Reid is also another avenue I go to for help. She created Invision Process. I can also recommend Laura Reinhardt Steele and Oksana Harmaty, along with other members.


Takeaway tip: We are one. With all the helpful programs that are now available online, we are moving forward toward a better, more beautiful future.  See how you can get past depression and become more spiritual that will have you feel an overwhelming joy and happiness. It may be unfathomable for you today, but if I can do it, so can you!


Next week: Trust will be our main topic. In today’s world, trust is given slowly to fewer people. We regularly see examples of broken trust in so many places. I recommend fostering trust where it is warranted.


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